Maybe Not the Brightest Idea

Or the lightest!

This ball of crap here is what used to be the carpet in my downstairs living room and office. For some reason I had the genius idea to get rid of it tonight (Yes, it's a Friday, which officially makes me a loser). It can't be that hard to roll it on up and out, right?

Wrong. I tried to wrap it up like a burrito (mmmm, burrito), but the burrito quickly turned into a wonky empanada (mmmm, empanada). Because I was by myself I had to shift the furniture from one side of the room to other while rolling the carpet and pad from side to side. Not the most efficient way, but I was willing to do whatever it took to get this junk out of my house.

The hidden condition of the carpet was another bomb the neighbors dropped on me after I moved. They said the previous homeowner had a large inside dog and she frequently complained about it using the entire downstairs as a giant Potty Pad. Cute! It didn't look too bad from the top, but every so often while sitting in my office the lovely smell would waft towards me... Double cute! To make it even better, when the painters came I told them I was replacing the carpet eventually and they took the liberty of using the carpet as a drop sheet. Fun!

Now my original plan to leave the carpet in until my flooring materials arrived (I ordered them online) went out the window when, but got word today that the materials won't be available to ship from Alabama until early September. Awesome! Add that to the dinge of the carpet i felt beneath my feet when I took my gym shoes off today, I knew I couldn't handle this stuff for another six weeks. So I got down and dirty, and I mean seriously dirty. If the carpet and pad fibers weren't bad enough, I think the seven years worth of dust and dirt sitting on top of the subfloor was. Clean!

The best part was trying to get that giant ball or crap through the door, off my porch, and into the back of my truck. Needless to say I got two workouts today. Thank god I know how to properly deadlift, and clean and jerk heavy shit because otherwise I'd still be out there rolling it to the city dump. Sweet!

So goes the story of the wildest Friday night I've ever had. Loser!