Spiders and Milkshakes

I know "Spiders and Milkshakes" don't necessarily go together, but in the world of Me on Monday night all by myself in my apartment, it does.

Monday night I finally decided to do what I had been avoiding (by going out and eating/drinking) doing all weekend: cleaning. I decided to start with my guest closet, because I had to replace a broken closet rod (whoda thunk a rod cannot support an entire closet full of jackets?). Much to my delight, when I started to lift the rod, a gigantic spider the size of my fist crawled by my hand. And by size of my fist I mean the size of a quarter. It was not only humongous, but it was fuzzy, and had white spots on it. I did a freak-out dance and scream combo and ran out of the room and closed the door. Being that I can't even look at a spider without throwing up in my mouth, there was no possible way I would consider doing something about it ALL BY MYSELF. So I called someone who I thought would be able to help me: My boyfriend. Who does not live with me. Because he lives two and a half hours away. Of course he would be able to help on a Monday night when it's almost 10PM, right? Here's how it went:

Me: "Mister! There's a spider in my closet and it's HUUUUUGE! And furry! It might be a black widow!"
Mister: "There's a what? (giggles) What do you want me to do about it?"
Me: "I want you drive up here and kill it! I can't even look at it!"
Mister: "Well just leave it then."
Me: "I can't leave it! It could crawl out of the closet and find me, or go somewhere where I can't find it. Plus the babies could eat it!" (Don't worry. Not real babies.)
Mister: "Well then you're really going to have to kill it. Go to the store and get some bug spray, and just spray the [heck] out of it."
Me: "I can't. I need you come up here. You HAVE to come up here."
Mister: "I would if I could. Is there someone else you can call who actually lives close?"
Me: "Why yes there is.... "

Who better to save me than a friend from my old job who I swore had to have more cajones than me. I call her up.... and she promptly tells me there's no way she can handle spiders either. She made me feel better, though, by saying "It could jump off the wall onto you and bite you and kill you!" That's what friends are for.

Next on the list is someone who I clearly remember not being afraid of spiders. I remember being in Texas with her and making her kill one for me. Now that's a true friend. "So how do you feel about spiders?" It's not hard to make this girl laugh, but she let out the biggest laugh I've heard in a while. "Why do you need me to kill one for you? You know I'm going to make fun of you forever for it!" If that's the price I had to pay for being able to sleep that night, then so be it. She came right over, and with a killer flip-flop in hand.

By the time she got there, the spider had relocated to OUTSIDE of the closet (he was fast). I couldn't even watch her try to kill the thing, so I just listened. SMACK! "Aahhhhhh!" SMACK! "Oh, he's not dead yet!" SMACK! "Aahhhh!" FLUSH! I was relieved. And I knew I had to repay the girl for coming over at almost 10PM on a Monday night. That's where the milkshakes come in.

I tolder her about "Burgers & Brews" (where I had been earlier that day) and that I had seen milkshakes on the menu. She was down. We got there and were led to a table outside. I forget that nights in Sac can get a bit chilly once you throw in the Delta Breeze, but luckily I was wearing my P.J's: Long sleave shirt, leggings, and Uggs (or $130 house slippers if you ask her). I promptly ordered a strawberry shake and she ordered a chocolate one with a side salad (those two go together, right?). The shakes were as good as shakes get (hard to go wrong). The strawberry was smooth and sweet (no chunks), and the chocolate was super rich and tasty. And all for a decent price. The exact total of the bill shall remain a secret. You never reveal the price of presents. However, I can tell you the one she gave me was priceless.