Anatomy of California

Last we spoke-- actually I was blogging and you were reading, almost like speaking... so I'm going to call it Bloking. Let's start over:

Last we bloke, I left you all begging for more (ha!) about my trip to the butt of California... so let me fill you in.

This trip- of course- involves more wine. It was the annual Wine in the Pines in Pine Mountain. Where? Well if California is a person, then Redding is the hair (scorching red for the hot hot heat), Sacramento is the head (full of geniuses like me), San Francisco is the mouth (when's the last time you heard the city shut up about anything?), Fresno is the armpit (no explanation needed), LA is the legs (Hollywood Baby! Show off 'em gams!), and San Diego is the feet (run for the border!). Then where, you ask, is Pine Mountain? It's the butt of course! This is how I explain where it is to people who ask: "It's in the range between LA and the Valley. You know when you're driving up the grapevine from the Valley, and you see that big Flying J Plaza? It's off that exit towards the west, about 20 minutes back." That usually works. Almost everyone has stopped at the Flying J to take a tinkle or leave a present ;)

So last weekend I met up with whole dam fam at my parent's cabin. My aunt and uncle have a cabin up there too. My cousins and two other couples joined us and we spent the day waddling through the event tasting wine, beer, food, and a little bit of white trash fashion. As usual I don't remember much (because I really don't remember anything, not because I was drinking). It's hard to remember any details about these wine tasting events anyways because there are so many goodies to taste.

The best part of the event was leaving. Not because we weren't enjoying ourselves, but because that means we got to head back to the cabin and eat and drink even more! Better yet we got to eat good family cooking! The guests brought over appetizers and salads, and my dad made delish tri-tip. Our dessert was my favorite special brownies. No, not those kind of special brownies. Remember, this was a family event. These ones have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (the little ones wrapped in foil) in the center of each piece. Mmmmmmmmm. What better way to end a day in the butt, than with a dessert with a chocolate surprise.

P.S. You're welcome for the visual!

Once Upon a Time...

Does wine tasting two weekends in a row make me an alcoholic? If the answer is yes then what you are about to read is entirely fictional.

Once upon a time there was this red-headed freckled girl who had some friends in high places, and a family that loved her. Those friends invited her to join them on a Grape Escape to downtown Sac, and that family got her a ticket to Wine in the Pines.

The Grape Escape is an grand wine-food-beer-dessert tasting event in the enchanted Cesar Chavez Park. The cost is normally $40 in advance or $50 at the door (or gate)… but my friends and I got in free because that’s how we roll. Actually, that’s how my friend rolls, and I just waddle along. Said friend—Mrs. Burgundy—got me, my parents, and Mister in for free last year too. Even if it wasn’t free… I’d splurge on a ticket. For an evening of entertainment, drinks and food, it’s worth it. With more than 100 wineries and restaurants flaunting their stuff, you can try wines you wouldn’t find anywhere else (for better or for worse) and try food from restaurants that people normally pay $40 for a first course at.

Now if I were a true wine connoisseur I would be able to 1) use words like undertone, tannin, and robust, and 2) recall what I drank . But I’m not. I know when I like something, and when I don’t. Take, for example, an adorable elderly couple running a booth all by themselves. However, upon closer inspection the adorable couple wasn’t adorable, they were cratchety. The bottle labels looked like they were printed on a home computer, and the wine tasted like it was brewed in their bathtub-- the same one that they get their sponge baths in.

But something I did like was the Renwood Syrah: nice and grapey without being too sweet. Or the Carvalho Petite Syrah Port: thick and sweet like your normal port but with a much more winey-flavor (you like that description? What did I tell you.).

Of course what I enjoyed the most, was not the grape concoctions… but the one made with bad carbs and cheese. The food there was the perfect remedy to a belly begging to be filled with something other than fermented fruit. My favorite (I may have gone back for seconds) was Mason’s Mac & Cheese. Mason’s is a higher-end restaurant on the corner of 15th and L Streets. Their Mac & Cheese is made with the shell-shaped pasta and multiple cheeses that goop together and get all stringy when you shovel a forkful of it towards your mouth. The tastiest part is that it’s topped with herby breadcrumbs… mmmm.

The food wasn’t all a “hit.” We stopped at the MIX booth, and tried what we thought was bruschetta. Unfortunately for Mrs. Burgundy, it wasn’t pink tomatoes perched on top of a tortilla chip, but pink tuna. Now I’m big tuna fan, but this was little on the warm side… and didn’t quite go with tortilla chips. It was a big disappointment because a lot of good could have come from that tuna. Someone needs to call PETA and let them know of the crime against that poor fish. It would have been much better served in a Sea Steak Poke Salad (Call me PETA! I’m free for PSA’s!). I was sad MIX's food wasn't so hot, because their restaurant/club is one of the hottest new places in Sacramento. It's on the roof above DeVere's, and has an open-air dance floor and great seating for a night full of people watching.

Well I’ve already told you how this chapter ends… with a trip to Mikuni’s for more drinks, a stop at Rick’s Dessert Diner and another pit stop at DeVere’s for more drinks with friends (I may have left that part out earlier. It was fun. Packed, but fun.). Now any good fiction writer will leave their reader with a cliffhanger to make them want to read the next chapter... So how’s this for a cliffhanger: A short time after that event I was drinking wine from the butt of California.

Sugar Rush

One place I always forget about when I've got a sweet tooth, is a place that is THE perfect remedy for such an affliction. Pieces of cake that are bigger than the plate they're on ( like Strawberry Amaretto Poppyseed or Orange Cranberry), pies that overflow from their tins (try Cherry Rhubarb Raspberry or Pumpkin Pecan Cheese), tortes with the perfect flavor combinations (how about Strawberry Kiwi or Chocolate Kahlua Bombe), and pastries and dessert bars that would satisfy the fat kid screaming to come out of all of us (Pumpkin or Lemon). Oh I could go on and on about Rick's Dessert Diner, but a picture is worth a thousand calories:


People, that is what they call Raspberry Diva. While I don't consider myself a big raspberry fan, or a diva (shock!), I do consider myself a fan of desserts that are meant for sharing. The best part about desserts that are meant for sharing, is not sharing them. I eat it aaalllll by myself- feel guilty about it afterwards-but ultimately come out as a better person because I looked a challenge square in the frosting and conquered it. What better place to accomplish that AND gain five pounds than this little 50's style diner on K Street between 23rd and 24th Streets. My friends and I made our way over there after an afternoon of wine tasting in the park (more to come) and cocktails at Mikuni's. Anyone who doesn't want dessert after a day like that is no friend of mine.

We walked in there and got in line with about 10 other people. This place is always packed, especially late-night. Rick's has hours made for days like the one we were having: Open until 1AM on Fridays and Saturdays. The wait goes quickly so you better pick your poison quickly. The glorious options are displayed in two large cases, the first filled with cheesecakes, pastries, pies and dessert bars. The second case has the cakes that are cut into to show the multitude of layers and filings. The Raspberry Diva I chose was poppy seed cake with a raspberry preserves and raspberry buttercream filling, topped with more raspberry buttercream frosting. As expected, it was super sweet, but oh-so-good. Their buttercream frosting is the good, expensive tasting stuff. The kind that doesn't leave your mouth feeling like it just got sprayed with Crisco (don't eat the Crisco!). And the poppy seeds in the cake gave it a nice texture (and a nice surprise later when I smiled and a friend pointed to them in my teeth). Sadly, that night was not a night I accomplished my goal of eating the whole thing. There just wasn't enough room in that tiny stomach of mine (ha!).

Now I don't remember exactly what my friends had (see note above on wine tasting and cocktails), but I know they enjoyed theirs just as I much I did mine. For a peak at how good you could have it, check out their dessert menu here. And let me know when you're going, I'll buy a dessert we can share, then tell you to get your own ;)

Time Travel

Let’s go back, way back. All of the way back to the very beginning of my three day weekend, which started on a Friday night… late Friday night.

It’s not very often I’m in town on a weekend, and when I am I like to hit up friends from my old job and see what they’re up to. Usually they’re attending or throwing some going away party, because that’s how the business goes. And that’s how it went Friday night.

I called up Blondie to see what was going down and much to my delight, she was meeting up for a going away party (Gasp!) at one of my favorite places to grab a drink: Riverside Clubhouse on Riverside Blvd., just off of Broadway by Target. I think it’s a favorite because it brings back memories of my going away party, and almost every going away party I’ve been to in Sac for that matter. I’m also a big fan because it’s a great solo-dining spot: Good food, good drinks, nice bartenders, big TVs, modern setting and interesting people.

Of course these going away parties don’t start until everyone gets off at 11PM, so when we got there I expected the place to be packed full of the young professional, young urban family crowd that’s usually there. Sadly, that was not the case. It looks like Riverside is feeling the effects of Sac’s sad state of affairs. The place was practically empty. All the more reason for me to order as much as I could to help them out ;)

My favorite cocktail to order anywhere is a Lime Rickey, and Riverside was the first place I’ve had one… and I still haven’t been able to find a place that makes one that tastes even close, or even knows how to make one at all. It’s nothing fancy, just Grey Goose, lime juice, and soda. Like I said, nothing fancy but it’s def the best thirst quenching, food-neutral drinky drink.

I ponied up to the U-shaped stone bar and ordered one, and was helped by some guy that has worked there for a while. I remember this because he bailed me out one night when I was dining solo at the bar, and two drunk ‘tards kept hitting on me. He didn’t remember me (it had been a while) but I’ll always remember him calling them a cab before they even finished their food :)

I took my drink to the patio- one of the best I’ve EVER been to. It’s covered in those triangular shaped sail thingys, has tables and lounge chairs, a three tiered fire pit, and waterfall along the entire back wall. This place has also got those garage-type doors like at Capitol Garage that gives you the nice indoor/outdoor mix if you sit anywhere near it. And if you’re not down with the great outdoors, there’s a lounge area near the entrance with tables, an open floor for dancing or mingling, and an ultra-swank gas fireplace with glass instead of coals. Oh yeah, and a huge TV.

We all opted for the patio and I stayed out there until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. It was 12:30PM after all, and I am getting old (don’t worry it was sleepiness, not drinkiness. I only had one). I had to leave there without having my fav dessert: Warm Chocolate Cake. Don’t worry as much as I like that place, I guarantee you’ll hear more about that. And see more once I figure this picture thing out.

So I left Riverside and bid farewell to the gigantic bull on top of the building (don’t ask), apologized for not being able to spend more, and hopped into my time travel machine (it’s real), that brought me back to today so I could tell you about my adventures. That, my friends (well most of you are family), is how you spend a three day weekend in Sacramento. I dare you to come up here and try to beat six places in three days (Call me!).

The Cherry on Top

With two Snake-Bites, two Newcastles, a big dose of Kobe, and a mix of cheesecake and fries in my belly, one would think it would be a good time to call it a night. Well one would be wrong. Next stop: Sushi.

The two Women and I decided to keep Number 3 within walking distance (mostly because we had to roll ourselves out of the Garage), and all agreed that Mikuni's was our best option. Mikuni's is a great place to go not just for sushi, but for a good meal in general. On 16th St. between J and K streets, it's got a large double-sided bar with large TV's that can be seen from almost every table, a sushi bar, and an upstairs section. The hostesses took one look at us-- and put us upstairs... as far away from the public as possible. No need to scare off potential customers.

My favorite thing to order at Mikuni's is their Sea Steak Poke Salad. Made with seaweed, cucumbers, seared tuna all tossed in a sesame sauce that has a vinegar-ry bite to it... it's my favorite meal whether I'm looking to eat healthy or pig out. They serve a pretty good sized portion of it, so it's perfect for sharing too. We started out with that, and quickly agreed on three rolls to share: The Train Wreck (Shrimp tempura, spicy avo blend, crab mix topped with copped unagi,sea steak, sesame seeds, onion, spicy zing zag sauce and unagi sauce), The Japanese Mafia (Scallop cream cheese, crab salad, shrimp, avo, fresh salmon, 2 special
sauces, lightly torched masago and onion), and unfortunately something else that I couldn't remember (you're welcome).

Now I'm no sushi expert, but sometimes I like to pretend. With that said, I'm not sure if Mikuni's rolls classify as authentic Japanese food. Don't get me wrong, they're delicious. What with their endless ingredients on the inside AND out, and displays of color on top with all their sauces. But, all that kind of takes away from the main point of sushi for me: the seafood! Somewhere in that grab-bag of flavor is a lovely piece of raw tuna or semi-chewy chunk of scallop. But with all that other crap all over it, how am I supposed to enjoy those tastes?

I don't want that last rant keep your from going to Mikuni's. If you're in the mood for a roll and are looking for an authentic, fishy tasting kind of place... this may not be for you. BUT, if you want to taste a plethora of things in one bite, love sauce on your rolls, and want to eat a piece of art, then go ahead and dig in. And don't forget about the versatile Sea Steak Poke Salad.

With the combination of those four things and seeing that I had already consumed enough alcohol for one night, I stuck with my trusty sidekick: Diet Coke. If you didn't know, that's the best way to start and end your day-- with a DC in your system. And that's how I ended mine. After all was consumed, (even the last two pieces of rolls that no one seemed to have room for, but amazingly found a spot in our stomachs for) we decided to pass on the dessert. Especially considering we already ate it at stop number two.

So the three of us waddled back home just like we waddled into de Vere's, only about 10 pounds lighter, $50 poorer, and down a 3 for 1 voucher. But don't worry, there are plenty more vouchers for anyone who wants one.

1 Down, 2 to Go….

After SpiderWoman, IronWoman and I left de Vere’s, we went to the other side of the block to a personal favorite, Capitol Garage. Located on the corner of a parking garage on 15th and K Streets, this restaurant was the first I ever visited as a newbie here in Sac, so it holds a special place in my heart. It's the perfect spot to grab a bite to eat or sip on a drink during warmer weather. It's got two garage doors in place of two walls on either side of the entrance, and they roll 'em up when the weather is right. It's the best feeling to sit on that patio and get the mix of the AC blowing from the inside and the warm weather of the outside. Kind of like riding in your car with your windows down and AC blasting in the middle of the summer.

This time the three of us skipped the patio and sat up at the bar so I could get a clear view of the TV (and Kobe's butt). I ordered a Newcastle (Gasp! A Beer! I admit, I like the sweet carmel-ly flavor of this one), as did IronWoman. SpiderWoman was thoughtful enough to order some dessert and share it with two willing taste-testers. She ordered the S'more Cheesecake, and it wasn't the first time for either of us. The two of us had gone to the Garage earlier in the week with coupons in hand for a "Buy 1 Get 1 Free” special. Now that’s a real special. We shared two appetizers and the same cheesecake. She was more impressed with it than I was… having had better cheesecake at places like Tower Café, and even the Cheesecake Factory. Not to say this wasn’t good… it’s just not fall-out-of-your-chair amazing. The crust wasn't graham-cracker-crunchy enough for me, and the marshmallow topping didn’t taste enough like a marshmallow. It could have used a good torching on top to give it that campfire taste. However, with a nice drizzle of chocolate sauce across the top, the flavors did all blend together for a sweet treat. Especially after two beers. Yup, I drank TWO beers.

We stayed at the Garage for the rest of the second half, and lucky for the two Women, the Lakers won. If they hadn’t, I don’t think I would have been game for number three of our 3 for 1 special.

2 down, 1 to go....

3 for 1 Restaurant Special

Ooooh if only the 3 for 1 special was as cheap as it sounds. My 3 for 1 restaurant special did not involve the enjoyment of 3 restaurants for the price of 1. It was more like 3 restaurants in one night. That's how the Saturday of my three day weekend went.

SpiderWoman, another friend and I went out on Saturday night to celebrate all things Lakers. OK,I was the only one interested the Purple & Gold out of the three of us... but that was still good enough for me. SpiderWoman has absolutely no interest in basketball, and the other friend enjoys all sports. Not only does she enjoy watching athletes... but she's one serious athlete herself. So much so that from here on out she'll be called IronWoman.

SpiderWoman, IronWoman and I started out our night at DeVere's Irish Pub on L Street between 15th & 16th Streets. This spot opened up earlier this year, and has been packed ever since. The owners (three guys just as white as me) have said they were looking to open a place just like a pub in Ireland: an extension of one's living room. Perfect! My living room is my favorite place to watch Lakers games... so the three of us waddled inside.

There are two main parts to the Pub: The front has a long bar, and some booths and some pub tables & chairs. If you walk past the front onto the back, there's some more tables and a little bit shorter bar... but there is great service back there. That's where we plopped down, with a large flat screen in plain view. For a drink I opted for a Snake-Bite. A Snake-Bite is half beer, and half hard cider (perfect for me because I'm not so big on the beer). IronWoman had a NewCastle, and SpiderWoman stuck with soda. As for grub, I was saving room for whatever else was coming up that night... and the two Women ordered an Irish-American Grilled Cheese to split. I've had this one before, seeing that I am grilled cheese connoisseur. It's made with Dubliner and American cheeses, and served with a tomato on it (which I usually add anyways). The Dubliner cheese has one of those super-melty consistencies that gets all over your face and hands and whatever else gets close to it. The 'wich is made on your choice of bread... but everyone knows the crusty Sourdough is the best (even if it does cut up the roof of your mouth). This masterpiece also comes with your choice of "Chips or Crisps." The "Chips" are fries and the "Crisps"are potato chips. It's a little backwards, but makes sense if you remember the "Chips" in "Fish and Chips" is actually fries. Both are yummy here either way... the "Chips" being large wedges, served on the crispy side.

Two Snake-Bites and some left over fries later I was ready for a change. It was half time in the game... and when the Lakers changed sides... so did we. We went to the other side of the block to a family favorite.

1 down 2 to go...