The Not-So Longest 30 Days of My Life

No dairy. No legumes. No grains. No sugars. No sweeteners. No alcohol. Thats what I did for 30 days... voluntarily. For those of you who know me, I'm sure you thought that sounded like a pretty futile plan. After all, this lofty goal was coming from the girl who's favorite item at Trader Joes is Frying Cheese, who's grandma used to sneak her bread before dinner because her parents knew if she ate some she'd fill up on that before eating anything else, who loooooves Taco Bell's Pintos & Cheese (and of course, nacho cheese), and from the girl that I'm pretty sure drank Diet Coke out of a sippy cup. Case in point:




But guess what? I did it. And it really wasn't that hard. No, seriously.

The idea behind The Whole 30 as it's called is to remove foods from your diet that may have a negative affect on you. They say it takes 30 days for everything to clear your system. Then after that, you slowly reintroduce each thing you cut out, and see how your body reacts to it. For instance, some people can reintroduce dairy (mmm, cheese) and not have any adverse affects but immediately feel bloated, tired or have stomach aches after introducing grains. For others, they can reintroduce both of those groups without problems, but gain weight if they eat legumes. So the goal is to find out what your body likes and doesn't like, and use that info to maintain a healthy, happy body.

So what did I eat? A lot. And a lot of good stuff. A lot of what is known as "clean" foods: Meat (organic, grass-fed), eggs (preferably pastured and/or organic), fruits and veggies (preferably organic but not mandated) and healthy nuts. I became a master at adding veggies to meals without being able to taste them. I became a master at seasoning because pre-packaged or pre-seasoned goods were out of the question because they contained either sugar, or ingredients I couldn't pronounce. I became a master at cooking eggs every way possible. And I became a master of planning ahead. Check out this Sunday's meal prep for the week:



Clockwise from top left: homemade meat sauce with 4 zucchinis and a whole bag of spinach (tastes like the good part of homemade lasagna), sweet potato hash with 2 zucchinis, 1 onion and chicken chorizo sausage, naturally sweetened chicken apple sausage, buffalo wings (marinated in Franks Red Hot Sauce and coconut milk), fajita veggies ready for mixing, and italian sausage with sweet peppers and onions. All that took about an hour and a half to cook, and will probably last me and the Mister until Thursday.

I also learned a ton about myself in these last 30 days:
-I don't NEED Diet Coke when I eat or when I'm in the car. Hard to believe, but I don't even crave it anymore.
-I don't need cheese as a snack, or even in my eggs.
-I don't need milk or even splenda in my coffee.
-I don't need Sweet & Low in my iced tea
-I don't need a little something sweet after dinner.
-I don't need to eat out as much (crazy!).

All in all I'd say its been a success. I broke some pretty unhealthy habits and picked up some really good healthy ones. I even dropped some weight and some body fat long the way.

But have no fear... all has not changed forever. I also realized it's good to indulge yourself every once in a while. Having a couple of drinks and a cheeseburger with your friends is good for the soul. So is exploring new restaurants when your parents come to town. So is accepting cocktails from your mix-master uncle. I just realize now that I don't need those things, and I have the willpower to say no. Well, most of the time. End of Day 30 here, and there's cheese on the menu:



Now who can say no to that? (Actually, my body should be telling me in the next few hours whether or not I should have said no)

I'm Back... Again. I swear.

And man do I have some stories to share. Since I last posted I got a new (permanent) roommate, finished up most major projects in the house, started and (nearly) completed a 30 Diet Challenge (1 more day to go!), and most importantly: stumbled upon so many awesome finds locally and on the interwebs. And there's still so much more to do! Gonna tie up the loose ends of my house projects (will they ever get done?), share my clean eating recipes and share my not-so clean new found love of baking. Yes, baking. Interestingly enough, it's a love I discovered while completely banning sugar, grains and dairy from my diet. Can't wait to explain that one. Here's a look a sneak preview of what's coming:

Eat Me: There Might Be Something Wrong With You If....

...if you don't want to eat this right now! Like, shove-it-in-your-face-like-no-one's-looking right now!

The moment I read the name of the recipe- Apple Pancake Cupcakes With Maple Bacon Frosting- I started slobbering and wagging my tail-- err, drooling and doing a little a dance-- err, gracefully reading the recipe... Right. That's what I did.

There is nothing in the world that will keep me from making this ASAP. Go ahead and judge me... I can take it.

Eat Me: Cheesy Cookies

Is there anything better in this world than cheese? My bro calls it Fat Man's Candy. If the dairy product alone is Fat Man's Candy, then these treats must be Obese Man's Candy.

Now the cheese doesn't ooze out of these Apple-Gouda-Oatmeal Cookies, but gets all crispy around the edges. And seriously, besides melty cheese, crispy cheese is my favorite... like when the cheese melts out of the sides of a grilled cheese sandwich into the pan and crispifies.... so good! I can't wait to try these out, especially since they're "One Bowl" wonders, which means I can only make a limited mess. Really, that's good news for the Mister who inevitably cleans up after me.

Eat Me: French Tacos

Yes, that right there is basically a taco, with french-fries subbed for the tortilla. You cannot reasonably tell me that this creation does not make you want to run to McDonalds, then to Baja Fresh and throw it all on one plate.

If you can, you're lying.

Because Three Heads are Better Than One

In this case, it's three heeeeeeeds are better than one. Please tell me you've seen "So I Married an Axe Murderer"! It is seriously one of the best Mike Meyers movies ever. Scratch that- it's one of the best movies ever. I find that I connect with it on a personal level. My favorite lines center around the son who has a rather large noggin and how his father (played by Mike Meyers, who also plays his brother) berates the unfortunate gift of mother nature. Unfortunately for me, lines like "Look at the size of that heeeed.... it has its own weather system" and "His heeeed is like an orange on a toothpick" are repeated constantly in my family because I too have a rather large heeed.

So it was shocking when my heeeed couldn't figure out how to hang my new TV on my new wall (the drywaller/painter-guys filled in an outdated alcove in my living room). When Dad came to help me finish some projects we quickly determined even two heeeds were going to need some help. The problem was that when I had my drywaller/painter-guys fill in the hole- and add some studs to support a TV mount- I didn't mark where these studs were located, and didn't specify how far I wanted them apart. Long story short, when it came time to install the mount it took about 137 small nails holes to find out exactly where the studs were (the stud finder didn't work. Although, my dad will tell you it found him just fine). Those 137 holes told us that the studs were too far apart to properly install the mount. Dammit heeeed!

Thank God for the interwebs and a brother with a mechanically minded brain, we were able to determine that we could screw in a sheet of plywood to all the necessary studs and then screw the mount on to the plywood and as many studs as we could. 10 minutes of holding the mount and 937 quarter turns of the wrench later the mount was mounted. We then attached the TV and held our breaths......................................................................... IT HELD! THE TV DIDN'T FALL! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

It's been over a week since I mounted that sucker, and it's still standing (or hanging rather)! An addition of a hand-me down white-trash piece of art (it's a car pulling a trailer) my dream living room is almost complete! And with the TV mounted at just the right height, I won't have to hear "Heeed! Mooooove!" when watching TV with the family.

Progress!

God Bless America. First there was progress at the Capitol with gay marriage (then not, then again), then progress in the White House with our first black President, and now progress at the Multi-Colored house in West Sac with families uniting for one common purpose: Get Shit Done!

We actually got so much accomplished this weekend that the only place I can think to start is with this:

It may not look like much, but this one picture actually shows six weekend projects that we completed this weekend.

So there is no way I could have done these weekend projects by myself. Not because they were a more-than-one-person job (some of them were), but because some of them were just things I didn't want to do (paint-scraping anyone?) that certain people in my family had the patience for (thanks Mom!). So the whole damn fam was in town to help me try to bring an end to my redecorating madness. While I'm not done yet- actually I'm nowhere near done- we were able to knock out A LOT of projects, all of which I will be showing you in the coming days.

Now you may not like the chairs, the big TV, or just my style in general, but please don't go all Glenn Beck on me and rain on my parade. This is my house, and I'll do as I please. Or do as my family pleases at least.